HATS: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HAT!

And what kind of hat do you wear?

I have my favorites....DO YOU?

Oldcatman
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****Male Call: Hat etiquette for 21st century.

Q Men's hats are back in style after 40 years, and I enjoy wearing one. Although etiquette used to require that the hat be removed indoors and a man was expected to tip his hat when meeting a woman, I don't see these rules applying today. I would be interested in knowing exactly what hat etiquette applies in the 21st century.

G.S., Aventura, Fla.

A Hold your horses there, Hoss. Who exactly is saying hats are back in style? Your haberdasher? If so, deep down you know he's just trying to sell you another ermine beret for your burgeoning collection. Perhaps you need a different haberdasher. Whatever that even is. Why not just go to HatsrUs.com? (No promotional consideration was accepted for this product placement. We could use a new John Deere cap, though, FYI.)

It is true that many men wear hats these days, but the hats are mostly baseball caps, worn by virtually everyone between the ages of 11 and, sadly, 45. Porkpie hats can be seen in certain hipster circles, or if you happen to hang out with Elvis Costello.

But as you correctly point out, G.S., it wasn't always this way, and we have JFK to blame for that. If it weren't for Jack eschewing a hat at his inauguration on a cold January day in 1961, we'd all still be wearing fedoras and homburgs instead of whatever the hell we wanted. Toques and hippie beanies in church. Boaters. Pith helmets at the laundromat.

So given this sad state of affairs, headgear-wise, we're sorry to inform you that most of the etiquette rules regarding men and hats have been cast to the winds as capriciously as a Red Man cap off the head of a hillbilly sitting at a picnic table in the back of a speeding pickup. Don't laugh, we've seen it happen. We should have slowed down taking that turn. Sorry, Cletus!

We said most rules are gone, not all. You still should take your hat off when you dine. Not counting Taco Bell, the local roach coach, McDonald's, Hot Dog on a Stick. Oh wait, the rule is about dining, so never mind.

Also, you should take your hat off when you enter someone's home, unless they're all wearing pith helmets already. In which case, mind the black mambas and dengue fever.

And about this tipping of the hat to the ladies thing: Unless you're 74 and living in a luxury condo in Aventura, Fla. -- hypothetically speaking, of course -- a tip of the hat is not likely to impress the ladies. These days, a wink and a friendly pat on the rear end are much more effective ways of saying, "Hello, doll. Say, is that a can of pepper spray you've got there?"

So in closing, G.S., go with the homburg.

Happy New Year

San Jose Mercury News (Male Call Column)