When I was growing up in the country a local character was known to all and sundry as 'skinflint'

It was said he would rob mousetraps for the fur they contained, and he was about as popular as a wicker seat in a nudist colony. He hated any kind of work, but lived on various shady deals he made with anyone silly enough to talk to him. He wasn't all that bright, but his skin was as thick as rhinoceros hide. He was also enormously fat, and rumor had it that his wife had expired from lack of sunshine.

One time he sprained his ankle - possibly from falling off his wallet - so he drove to the doctor's house and called for him to come out and examine him. The medico reluctantly went to the car and, after looking at the ankle, said, "It's a slight sprain, that's all. Bathe it in hot water and rest. That's all you can do." Knowing his patient's reputation he added, "That'll be ten dollars, thanks."

"What for?" demanded skinflint.

"My professional advice."

"Nothing doing." Putting the car in gear he said, "I've decided not to take it."