Lawyer's Hospital

What's the definition of a waste?A bus load of lawyers falling off a cliff with one spare seat.

What can a duck do that a goose can't and a Lawyer should?Stick his bill up his ass.
A Rabbi, a Hindu and a...
A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed.
The Rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi entered exclaiming "I can't sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!"

The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later,the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying "There's a COWin the barn! I can't sleep in the same room as a cow! It's against my religion!"

The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he'd go to the barn,as he had no problem sleeping with animals.

In two minutes, the bedroom door burst open and the pig and the cow entered...

A Blind Bunny and...
A blind bunny rabbit and a blind snake were born into this world. Fate being what it was, the two crossed paths one day in a vegetable garden.
"You know, all my life, I've wondered what I was", said the snake. "I don't know since I can't see anything."

"I've wondered the same thing", said the rabbit. "Maybe together we can figure out who we are."

"Ok", said the snake. So he curled up around the bunny rabbit and began to sniff and prod and stroke the bunny.

"Hmmm, you're small, and soft, and warm and furry", said the snake, "and you have big ears and a bushy tail." The snake thought for a moment. "I know, you must be a rabbit!"

"Oh thank you thank you!" said the bunny, "Now let me help you." So the bunny rabbit started sniffing at the snake, pausing to stroke him with his paws. "Well let's see. You're long and cold and slimy and have a forked tongue. You have scales.... I know, you must be a lawyer!"